Find No Fault

August 4, 2011

Many relationships are affected by how people treat each other.  Some days are good while others result in arguments and even a severance of the relationship.  It could be that the people are just not compatible, but more often than not a change in behavior can change that outcome.  The way you treat people has a profound effect on them and directly affects the way they treat you in return.  Most people live their lives in reaction to other people, but you should take control of your life by controlling your attitude and behavior.

One of the biggest problems in relationships, whether a marriage or friendship, is that people tend to criticize each other.  This causes feelings of resentment and anger, and you get defensive toward the other person.  In return, you lash back at them with criticism, creating an atmosphere of negativity.  In finding the faults of others, you can expect others to find your faults.  On the other hand, if you are offered a compliment, you feel better about yourself and will development a more positive attitude.

When you treat someone with kindness, dignity and respect, most often they will respond positively to you.  Of course, there are some people in the world that will treat you meanly no matter what, but generally people do respond to kindness.  If someone is mean to you, and you treat them with kindness, you could turn the situation around and create a more positive mood.  In finding the good in people instead of pointing out their faults, you are more likely to help them in making positive changes in their lives while upholding the changes you have made in your own life.

We all have a difficult time in accepting ourselves at times, so the last thing that anyone needs is to be reminded of their faults.  Dale Carnegie said, “If you want to gather honey, don’t kick over the beehive.”  In pointing out the faults of others, you are essentially “kicking over the beehive.”  You have to remember that you are what you think.  If you think positive, you will act positive and will avoid finding the faults of others.  In complimenting others, you will receive compliments in return and be able to build relationships based on mutual respect.

This post is brought to you by the good folks at Dale Carnegie Training of Central Indiana, providers of professional development and management development courses and information in Indiana. We would love to connect with you on Facebook.

Photo credit: Ryan Tir

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